Balance

One whole week into summer vacation and I am already used to this lifestyle :o) Just the freedom of having my own time, my own schedule, my own life back is fantastic. I was so used to being dictated by the lives and families of 3 and 4 year olds that I forgot that I have my own life and family. Every summer I try to take on a "project" that I focus my energies on so that I am not just catching up on trash tv that I missed while I was teaching all year {not that I DONT catch up on a few guilty pleasure shows but I am determined not to be couch bound}. One summer we got our dog, Meli. I spent the whole summer training her and working with her so that she would be the angel she is today by the time I went back to work. Last summer we moved and I worked on my 10 year reunion. This year, I decided that my project needs to be ME. Sounds funny when I type that "out loud". I just need some time to put myself first. I have literally stopped exercising since I moved here- HORRIBLE I know but there just were not enough hours in the day (how people work, work-out and have children I will NEVER know). I do not feel comfortable in my body (let alone my clothing) which is a very hard thing for me. Weight is a topic that I struggle with daily, that I have struggled with since I was 15 and it is time to put "healthy" above anything else on my to-do list.
To me, healthy means:
~ Peace.... I want to breathe, read and enjoy
~ Strength... I want to be in control of my body... what goes in it and what I am able to do with it {strength in muscle and will power}
~ Cleansing... I want to choose food that will drive me, nourish me and make me just FEEL better
~ Forgiveness... I want to excuse myself for the past year... for not giving to myself like I should... and to focus on where I will go from here, not how stagnant things became... to stop beating myself up for how I DON'T look.

These are, for one reason or another, very big mountains for me to climb. I tend to justify focusing on others but not taking care of my own needs... I need to remember that I am worthless to others if I am not whole.

The Plan:
lots of jogging, pilates, vegetables, books and water
less stress, guilt, tears, food that makes me feel bad but less feeling bad if I need to indulge...
more time with Mike, my dog, my garden

time to feel BETTER and find my BALANCE :o)

preschool graduation

The year is over.... I did my part to support, love and teach these little ones the best way I know how. We had a wonderful celebration of achievement and support at their graduation and it was truly a gratifying moment for me. To stand up in front of families and staff and recognize the challenging year that we had.
I am so ready for some down time, some me time but what is better than 4 year olds in graduation caps, being proud of themselves...
"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it SHINE"
Hoping these kids shine always...

A slideshow design by Smilebox

A year in review

I know that typically the year ends in December but these days, my calendar seems to flow with that of the public school district that I am employed by. We are (thankfully) coming to the end of this (can I say dreadful?) year and looking back I realize just how life changing this year has been. One year ago, Mike and I were preparing for our move to Colorado and I was extremely excited about my new job at the Colorado School for the Deaf and Blind. We not only packed up our lives there and drove our meager belongings across the country but we said goodbye to our only home together and all of our (wonderful) mutual friends. There was no friend group or family ties in the Springs and we felt like we were just asking to drive each other crazy... no girlfriends to distract me, no Bentley buddies for a boys night out. I also "threw together" the PHS 10 year class reunion during my move and then welcomed my newest niece to the "Bree and Eric Scott gang".
My job here has been challenging at best and nightmarish at worst. It was nothing like I expected and had all of the ingredients to drive someone with people pleasing and perfectionist tendencies to the brink of a breakdown. As I mentioned, I have no girlfriends here to pull me aside for some laughs or advice as I was used to with my friends and coworkers at Horace Mann... I just dove into teaching and preschool-ness with my whole self and am still waiting for this coming Tuesday (graduation) to come up for air. It has swallowed me whole in an unfair and overwhelming way with too many expectations and zero credit. I have loved my time with the kids, they are funny and precious and difficult... I have been given so many challenges that I have triumphed over that you can't feel anything but amazing about the kids... the KIDS... but the as so often happens, the adults in my life need boundaries and I am just now coming to terms with the damage this year has done to me. In the midst of all of this insanity, Jonathan died. My cousin, the closest relative that I had here, just 45 minutes away in Denver, the one that I was going to "get around to hanging out with" was killed in a car accident. Everything just kind of went away from Thanksgiving through January. I spent too many nights sobbing at my computer as I tried to find the right words to support his wife but not succeeding as my heart shattered at the thought of her sorrow... Mike and I are a young couple with no kids, 2 cats and a golden retriever that is our substitute child... just like Brie and Jonathan...
I took a stand at my job- I went through the terrifying and exhausting process of speaking out against my boss. Providing documentation and witness of the corruptness and was successful... sort of.... I am still fighting.
Mike and I bought a house- a wonderful, beautiful, makes-me-happy to come home house which was the start of my wake up call to the life that had been smothered by my job... I wanted to come home again, to have things for ME again.
Kellen and Janelle decided that they would serve a mission in Zambia for one year to share their faith and help people there build better healthcare facilities and farms for themselves... we said goodbye to them earlier this month.
I turned 29... 29!!! this is getting serious...
So as I look to this upcoming week, I am ready for a break. I am ready to be in my home with my husband that I appreciate so much. He has taken care of me and listened to me, comforted me and gotten furious for me. It is time to give back to him...
We have come so far this year... births and deaths, new homes, new friends and new adventures...
its time for another change... to take care of me....
Here are some pictures of the year... The T-shirt is of Jonathan's fishing guide company that he was starting...

my first turkey

Mike and I decided to stay home for Easter this year, we were planning on going to see Kellen and Janelle before they take off for Africa for a year but the mountain weather and my immune system made the decision for us. Despite my under the weather-ness, I decided this would be a great time to try out my culinary skills and test out turkey cooking. I have never done it before because it seems so intimidating and only something someone with mad kitchen skills should try... but I have been doing more and more cooking lately and have some REALLY cute platters I got from the in-laws that I have been dying to use. So why not, right? Have you ever looked on the internet for advice on how to cook a turkey?!?! GOODNESS- you could do it 800 different ways! I tried to stay simple but have lots of flavor and I only made one (minor) mistake.... I didn't know where the stupid giblets were and so just figured my turkey didn't have any.... uh no. After cooking it for 2 hours I ran across an article that said to take the giblets out of the TURKEY NECK.... WHAT?!?! who would ever know those little guys were hidden there? dang- but luckily I guess its not a big deal, I thought for sure the whole thing was ruined.
In the end, the turkey turned out REALLY well and was not as complicated as I originally thought. yay for trying new things!!!
Now who is going to clean up this enormous mess? hahaha
Here are some pics of the bird, the table, a very sick and ugly me, and the project mike was slaving away on all day while I was cooking (we are trying to finish our fence)
Happy Easter all my friends and family

Home Sweet Home

Luckily I have a fantastic family that always comes to my rescue when I need movers and decorators. This past week was my spring break from work and my mom and dad were great enough to come up to help us get ourselves together in order to decorate this place. I have been very cautious about putting anything up on the walls or buying much of anything because I am so worried that I will mess up the beautiful simplicity that this house has naturally. I didn't want to put things up just to have things up. We are nowhere near finished because I want to hold out for just the right things (hence no dining room pictures). But the things we did get I think fit with my taste of warm colors and textures. I love flowers and leaves and tried to incorporate them without going overboard. Thank you to my mom for pushing me to go outside my box while encouraging my personal style. I am particularly happy with the bedroom set up and the large picture in the family room. This picture is special because it is of a place in Tuscany that I visited when I went abroad. I have wanted a picture that captured the warmth of Italy and I think this picture is perfect as a focal point. So, we are still very much a work in progress here but at least we have some direction. Starting to really feel like home :o)

New House

We have been scouting areas around the Springs since we got here in Aug and have been constantly looking online at different houses, trying to find just the right one. I have been looking forward to having our own space for as long as we have been married and am thrilled to FINALLY be in our new home!! No family members living below us, no noisy neighbors above us and no more apt living! This house was actually the first house that we saw in person. I knew that I loved it the moment that I walked in and had a hard time looking at anything else because it just did not compare to how I felt about this one. We decided just to go with our gut and offer- I have been pretty tight lipped about the whole thing just because I was so afraid something would fall through and I would be too disappointed. We went through a very lengthy negotiation process and some ups and downs with different things, but in the end we closed this past Friday and we couldn't be happier about the decision. My two awesome brothers came to help out with the moving (during a bad snow storm) and we got everything moved over in just a few trips. It wasn't until we started putting things up that I realized how ridiculously small and dorm-room our tiny apt furniture looks in this beautiful house, but we now have the time to fill it up little by little. I am super excited to start thinking about decorations and fun paint and of course finding something to SIT ON haha... so cheers to our very first home and many happy memories to be made here. Enjoy the pictures

proud

This May, my brother Kellen and his wife Janelle are going to be embarking on an amazing journey of faith, service and courage as they travel to Zambia- one of the poorest countries in Africa, and in the world to make a difference. They have decided to take on this one year long journey of spiritual and community service as a way to give back and grow closer as a couple. I am amazed and inspired by their spirit of giving and selflessness. I have always wanted to be a part of an amazing organization such as the Peace Corp but just never quite made it there. Not only are Kellen and Janelle making that step at this time in their lives, but they are making it together... this is further testament to the way that they bring out the best in one another. I am so proud to know them and to call them my family. God bless you on your journey of giving and care and I hope that you see our Father in all of your amazing works. We will miss you so much but know that even since you were a little boy, kellen, that you had the need to give to others. May this be an amazing and growing experience for you both.
We love you and keep you in our hearts

http://ywam.org/
(the organization that they are joining)

Happy Trails!!