One whole week into summer vacation and I am already used to this lifestyle :o) Just the freedom of having my own time, my own schedule, my own life back is fantastic. I was so used to being dictated by the lives and families of 3 and 4 year olds that I forgot that I have my own life and family. Every summer I try to take on a "project" that I focus my energies on so that I am not just catching up on trash tv that I missed while I was teaching all year {not that I DONT catch up on a few guilty pleasure shows but I am determined not to be couch bound}. One summer we got our dog, Meli. I spent the whole summer training her and working with her so that she would be the angel she is today by the time I went back to work. Last summer we moved and I worked on my 10 year reunion. This year, I decided that my project needs to be ME. Sounds funny when I type that "out loud". I just need some time to put myself first. I have literally stopped exercising since I moved here- HORRIBLE I know but there just were not enough hours in the day (how people work, work-out and have children I will NEVER know). I do not feel comfortable in my body (let alone my clothing) which is a very hard thing for me. Weight is a topic that I struggle with daily, that I have struggled with since I was 15 and it is time to put "healthy" above anything else on my to-do list.
To me, healthy means:
~ Peace.... I want to breathe, read and enjoy
~ Strength... I want to be in control of my body... what goes in it and what I am able to do with it {strength in muscle and will power}
~ Cleansing... I want to choose food that will drive me, nourish me and make me just FEEL better
~ Forgiveness... I want to excuse myself for the past year... for not giving to myself like I should... and to focus on where I will go from here, not how stagnant things became... to stop beating myself up for how I DON'T look.
These are, for one reason or another, very big mountains for me to climb. I tend to justify focusing on others but not taking care of my own needs... I need to remember that I am worthless to others if I am not whole.
The Plan:
lots of jogging, pilates, vegetables, books and water
less stress, guilt, tears, food that makes me feel bad but less feeling bad if I need to indulge...
more time with Mike, my dog, my garden
time to feel BETTER and find my BALANCE :o)
6 comments:
Wonderful :) ... particularly the "forgiving" part
You have a lot of solid wisdom in these words. Love your clear thinking and direction.
And as a little side note...I've always thought you had a beautiful body! ;)
Amen sista! :) You said it well, and I think I could just copy and paste a lot of that for myself! We could all use a little "me" time, we have to be able to love ourselves before we can truely love others, right? Hope you accomplish your goals and have a very 'balanced' summer. Enjoy!
Btw, you've always been one of the most gorgeous girls I've known! Espically growing up, all you Keislings are beautiful!
I don't remember you ever worrying about your body in high school? I do understand that we're getting older and our metabolisms are just not what they used to be. I've started an exercise program too and it is kicking my bootie!
Good job recognizing the need for some "me" time. You really are gorgeous though and I think your body looks fab!
Love this! It's so easy to put ourselves on the bottom of the list sometimes! It gets even harder when you have kids. <3 you and I hope you are enjoying your summer break! :D
love love love what you wrote here, abbs! so many good ideas. i find balance to be quite challenging in many aspects of my life.
its inspiring to see someone as busy and hard-working as you trying to better yourself during your downtime. you're amazing, abby. you certainly deserve some quality "me" time with all the giving you do.
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